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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26036035">Tasteful Nudity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/freakedelic/pseuds/freakedelic'>freakedelic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman: Arkham (Video Games), DCU (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Community: dckinkmeme, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossdressing, Dark Humor, Denial, Flash Fic, Gen, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Non-consensual spreading of nudes, Nudes, Semi-Consensual Sending of Nudes, Sexual Harassment, references to past rape/non-con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:08:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26036035</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/freakedelic/pseuds/freakedelic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Joker's nudes leak. Everyone is disturbed. Only one person is aroused.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>139</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Tasteful Nudity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <a href="https://dckinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/766.html?thread=1763838#cmt1763838">written for this prompt in the dckinkmeme</a>
</p>
<p>I'm back on my batjokes bullshit (i guess??)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"EEEWWWW!"</p>
<p>Ivy knows just from the tone of her cry that whatever disgusting thing it is, she's going to be invited over to gawk. She's proven right in a few moments, to Harley's cry of -</p>
<p>"IVE! Come an' take a look at THIS!"</p>
<p>Ivy sighs, putting down the copy of The Anarchist's Cookbook that she'd snatched from Anarky and scooting over on the couch. Harley throws an enthusiastic arm around her and shoves her phone in Ivy's face. It takes a few seconds for Ivy's crossed eyes to focus, but when she does, she feels a wave of disgust pass over her. She shuts her eyes.</p>
<p>"Harls, please don't show me these things." She'd only gotten a glimpse of the ghastly pale form in the photograph before her self-preservation had kicked in and she'd shut down. It had been Joker - there's no mistaking that sickly lipstick-grin and the permadyed bright-green pubic hair. Or, for that matter, the poorly-fitting lacy pink lingerie. "You know I'm not into men."</p>
<p>"Ew! He's not supposed to be *attractive*," Harley says. "I know I used ta date him an' all that, but he really wasn't THAT great." She holds her thumb and forefinger in front of Ivy's face in a gesture that suggests something very small.</p>
<p>"Really? Then why are you showing me this?" Ivy is no stranger to male nudity, not really, but she doesn't need to see Joker's stark white balls, this or any other afternoon.</p>
<p>Harley shifts so her head is in Ivy's lap, her legs thrown over the side of the couch. "Cuz it's s'posed to be a SECRET. Eddie said he accidentally sent it." She pales a little, as much as she can with all the melanin drained out of her. "Does that mean he has anotha fling, Ives?"</p>
<p>"Does it matter?"</p>
<p>Harley relaxes. "Nah, I guess not. Old habits, sorry." She pats Ivy's thigh, as if to reassure her. Seconds later, she bursts out into new peals of laughter. She pokes her phone into Ivy's face. Ivy once again beholds the picture, but this time Wayne Tower has been edited over Joker's penis, saving Ivy from further trauma.</p>
<hr/>
<p>"Y'know," Steph says, leaning over the table, "shouldn't we second-guess the ethics of looking at someone's nonconsensually released nudes?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, sure," Jason says darkly. "If it was literally anyone else."</p>
<p>"C'mon, Steph," Tim argues, mouth full of hamburger, "It's investigation. Detective work. It's what we do."</p>
<p>"Investigating the Joker's saggy bollocks?"</p>
<p>"Sacrifices must be made," Jason says solemnly. Bruce would be pissed off if he knew they were talking, because him and Jason are on the outs, but Steph is as stubborn as always.</p>
<p>Tim shoves his phone across from him. "You know you wanna."</p>
<p>Stephanie eyes it. "Do I?" Seconds later, after glancing around, she answers the question herself and picks it up. Her loud, disgusted noises make patrons in the fast-food joint turn to look at the source of the noise. Stephanie puts down Tim's phone, red in the face.</p>
<p>"That's the worst thing I've ever SEEN."</p>
<p>Jason snickers. "Yeah, I know, right?"</p>
<p>Tim swallows and picks up his phone. "Someone edited him into the latest Victoria's Secret advertising campaign."</p>
<p>"How'd you even get that?" Steph asks, staring down at her plate with scarred eyes.</p>
<p>Tim glances at Jason. "We keep tabs on some people's emails. It showed up."</p>
<p>"Where did you see it, Jason?"</p>
<p>Jason snorts. "This one specifically? Didn't fuckin' need to." A large slurping noise follows, as he drinks the rest of his soda.</p>
<p>"Um, Jason -" Steph starts.</p>
<p>"Oh boy," Tim says. "Let's not unpack that."</p>
<p>"Good idea!" Jason adds, mock-enthusiastically, stirring the ice in his Sprite around with the straw.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The photograph is displayed in high definition, casting its pale light all over the batcave, Bruce sitting in the computer chair and looking up to it. It explains the recent break-in at Target, where multiple women's bras and panties had been snatched. They fit oddly on his bony hips and too-thin chest. He would've done better stealing food.</p>
<p>Honestly, it looks like something Selina might wear, and at that thought Bruce goes cold. Had she worn something like that, in the time he'd been with her? He thinks back - similar. Too similar. A coincidence? Maybe.</p>
<p>Bruce doesn't think that Selina is in danger. It's not enough evidence to go off of, but he files it away in the back of his head. He tilts his head to the side, trying to see some clue in the discolored patches of skin on Joker's torso, or the carefully applied lipstick on his face.</p>
<p>Something rings in his ear. A call - coming in from an unknown number. Bruce has a sinking suspicion who it is.</p>
<p>"Heyoooo, Batsy!" The voice assaults his ears like an air horn. "Like what you see?"</p>
<p>"You sent it to the wrong number," Bruce says flatly.</p>
<p>"Ehhhhh." Bruce can see Joker waving his hand vaguely in the air. He turns on the location tracking for input to his cowl. "Same result. Like you don't bug Oz-Oz's computer."</p>
<p>Bruce continues to track him. He has to keep him on the line, obviously. And keep him sending things that he can mine for clues. Obviously. "Did you take anything else from the Target on Seventh?"</p>
<p>"Just things to get you off, dearest," Joker giggles. "You just looove the feminine side, don't you?"</p>
<p>"Stay away from her." Bruce's voice is vicious for the first time. He eyes the tracking progress.</p>
<p>"Oh, you're a spoilsport." Joker pouts on the other end of the line. "Maybe I'll wear a nice dress the next time, sweetheart, just for YOU."</p>
<p>Bruce makes a noncommittal noise.</p>
<p>"Oooh, no protests? Does that make your bat-codpiece - "</p>
<p>"Shut up."</p>
<p>The Joker's sick peals of laughter ring on the other end of the line. Bruce eyes the tracking progress. Soon.</p>
<p>"Oh, Batsy! You know you love me. Or else you would've blocked my number. Toodles!"</p>
<p>The line clicks. Bruce stares at the 92% on his screen, mouth in a thin line.</p>
<p>He hears Alfred's clicking steps down to the cave, and quickly covers the photo of the Joker up with a report on Gotham's latest crimewave. Alfred wouldn't understand his investigation, anyways.</p>
<p>Batman shifts a little in the chair. Now that Joker mentions it, his suit does feel a little . . . tight.</p>
<p>But of course not. That's just the man playing tricks on him. He's only in this for any potential clues he can gather, of course. If the Joker insists on sending him . . . photographs . . . he'll get as much information out of them as he can.</p>
<p>That's all it is.</p>
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